Ashes 2025/6

@barbarian

Three terrible decisions destroyed England's chances in these Ashes.

1. The ECB pulling their players from long-form cricket in mid July and having them play The Hundred, T20 and some 50 overs since then. Guys like Ben Duckett and Harry Brook have forgotten how to bat mid length to long innings.

2. Playing no meaningful warm up games in Australia. Who knew playing conditions in Australia were different?

3. Sticking with Bazball come what may. It makes sense to play aggressive cricket when you are the better side, but not when your back is against the wall and ruthless winners are coming at you. Some of England's shot selection in these three Tests has been appalling.

Add dropping some absolute stinkers in the field and you have an Ashes drubbing

When I think about England's preparation, the lack of work (proudly at times) and the lack of adaptation to conditions, it reminds me of a story about Matt Hayden preparing to go to India.

He hadn't had success in India, so he requested the groundsman in Brisbane prepare him a dusty pitch to mirror Indian conditions. He went out on the hottest days and had spinners bowling at him in a real match simulation and he'd bat all day with a break for lunch and a break for tea. Averaged over 100 for the series.

I don't know how you can be Brendan McCullum and look at that and think 'nah'. Because really that's exactly what his players should be doing if they actually want to take this seriously. But that's the truth of Bazball - freeing the arms and playing fast is more fun and it's less work. Who cares if you win or lose?

The chat coming out of the England camp has been fucking stupid when you compare it to what has been produced on the field.

They're 0-3 down in the series, and they've barely won a session. Lots of tough talk, some weird revisionism as well. Regardless of what happens in Melbourne and Sydney this has been really bad.

Every time England looked to be getting themselves in to a position to apply real pressure to Australia invariably someone would play a stupid shot and get themselves out. I've hit 3 fours in an over? lets try and moon a 4th over cow. The defense of Brooke's reverse sweep has been hilarious, and has early selfish McCullum written all over it "oh that's how he plays". Getting clean bowled trying to reverse sweep a spinner doing absolutely nothing until that point? Hilarious.

The bowling plans were either so flawed they were laughable, or the bowlers didn't stick to the plan. Either way serving up short shit to get carted in every innings was pretty average.

They are just seemingly unwilling to do the tedious boring shit that makes up a lot of successful test cricket. Bat time. Hit the top of off over after aver. A completely ADHD cricket team.

When McCullum is inevitably fired by England I really really hope NZC doesn’t even think of giving him a call.
He was great for nzc, he was one of the big reasons why the WC was special in 2015 but he’ would be completely wrong as a coach for us.

My concern is that McCullum and co will end up back here causing yet more franchise cricket fun and games, while chasing the next big thing.

Would be nice to be wrong and it's "just" coaching

Joe Root seems to be escaping criticism, but from someone who has been described as the best England bat of all time, has he been good enough? Good hundred at the Gabba, but his other scores have been 0, 8, 15, 19 and 39. All of which were high pressure digs when his team needed a score.

If England was to win these Ashes he needed to stamp his GOAT credentials all over the series, and while he's got the monkey off the back with the century he's been a non-factor outside of that. With inexperienced players around him (in Aus conditions), they really needed him to hang around and eke out a few more scores.

Booze, Beach, Beaten - how England lost the Ashes:

Forgot birdies in the title

@barbarian said in Ashes 2025/6:

Joe Root seems to be escaping criticism, but from someone who has been described as the best England bat of all time, has he been good enough? Good hundred at the Gabba, but his other scores have been 0, 8, 15, 19 and 39. All of which were high pressure digs when his team needed a score.

If England was to win these Ashes he needed to stamp his GOAT credentials all over the series, and while he's got the monkey off the back with the century he's been a non-factor outside of that. With inexperienced players around him (in Aus conditions), they really needed him to hang around and eke out a few more scores.

Joe Root is in the discussion for best ever, not out and out. Hammond, Hobbs and Hutton are all worthy of the title and that’s just guys whose name starts with H.

@MiketheSnow said in Ashes 2025/6:

Forgot birdies in the title

Females or golf variety? Or both?

So disrespectful for the England cricket team to treat an Ashes tour like a stag holiday. What a dismal bunch of flops!

Ben Duckett has been working hard on his shot selection on this tour of Australia.

Vodka, rum, tequila - he's ordered them all.

@sparky said in Ashes 2025/6:

Ben Duckett has been working hard on his shot selection on this tour of Australia.

Vodka, rum, tequila - he's ordered them all.

They do not appear to be that serious about this Ashes tour, it's just a big holiday down under

@canefan Shades of the England Rugby team at the 2011 World Cup, but without the dwarf throwing.

The only good news for Ben Duckett is that it's not footage of him pissed as a newt at the cease, which is how he batted on a couple of occasions in those first three tests.

I've just noticed who shared this vid.

Perhaps a bit annoyed at how his own career ended ?

The thing about Noosa is it seemed almost performative. Take their drinking for example - they seemed to spend all their time at Rococo bar, which is the one that everyone walks past to get to the better spots. You couldn't pick a more exposed spot if you tried. At least golf courses are private, leafy sort of places.

Go to the bar at the resort, or one a bit further down Hastings Street with less foot traffic.